Urban Dictionary ftw!

"You got Morganed!"

(no subject)

On one level, life is incredibly good to me. I will move in about a week and I've managed quite well to get not too worked up because of it so far.  There's a lot to do, but I'm calm. On another level, life's a real bitch. These last days, I felt kind of disconnected from my friends here. Everybody goes home to spend time with their families and although not everything is sunshine and roses there either, I still feel like an alien. During the last months, parts of my family have proven to be a lot more reliable than I had anticipated, but other parts just... haven't. I'm hurt and I can actually watch myself drawing the curtains and locking everybody out. It hurts knowing my friends are not only not here with me, but also visiting their familes, getting all sorts of support which I can only dream of. Furthermore, I hate being jealous.

At least, I got an imaginary distant cousin of Xena The Warrior Princess running after my father with an imaginary spear. That has to count for something.

On a different and happier note, I've been reading a lot of Star Trek fanfiction lately. There are many great epic tales about Kirk and Spock out there and many authors do a fabulous characterization, have an enjoyable writing style, and know how to write thrilling stories in general. Fandom in general continues to make me go "wtf?!" a lot, but the Star Trek fandom is as old with The Original Series as it is new after the 11^th movie, and I enjoy the variety of topics and discussions.

Furthermore, it seems like I have found two fictional characters with which I deeply sympathize. In the new Trek-universe, Kirk and Spock sure are two very different characters, employing two very different mindsets most of the time, but after reading many different views on them in different fanfictions, I started thinking they're not that different on a certain level. Like I see it, they both have troubles dealing with emotions, connecting with people etc. Spock's half-Vulcan and was raised to supress his emotions by his culture. Kirk was born the day his father died and probably saw a couple of men walking in and out of his mother's and his own life afterwards. He doesn't seem like a man for commited relationships, neither friendship nor romance, and is more likely to lash out at than hugging anybody getting close to him. So.... I like their dynamics: one not wanting to admit to any kind of emotion and the other trying not to give in to the most frightening ones.

And yes, I could talk about those two for days on end if anybody would listen. ;-)

Anyways. I should eat something and then finish this writing piece which I've not been working on much.

so there!

I'm making COFFEE. Not going to leave this desk before this thing is finished. And if it's 3am or later - I don't care. I'm young, I can manage. I'm doing this, I want this.

Here I come!

(See what two years of not writing can do to a person? I'm frowning at my enthusiasm...)