presentation (same old, same old)

I'll breath a huge sigh of relief when tomorrow is over...

This week has been a small personal hell. I panicked about absolute not panic-worthy things, forbade myself to have fun, and thought bad things about nice people. To counter this insanity, I re-scheduled my morning routine because I figured multi-tasking made me feel itchy, bitchy, and just generally unhappy. Now, I blowdry my hair while blow-drying my hair, have breakfast while having breakfast, and meditate while meditating. So far, it works fairly well.

Thing is, I know where all this nervous energy comes from (which is good really) - I have to hold a presentation in Prof. Intimidating's class (cultural pessimism) tomorrow. It's not so much a presentation of things I've researched on my own, but more a thourough recapitulation of the seminar text which supposedly most people in class will have read by then. Right now, I'm very optimistic that I got the author's point(s) and have brought them in a neat order to really work with.

But... damn, presentations. On the one hand, I love talking to people about things which interest me and thisseminar in general and my text in particular do interest me a lot! God, H.L. Mencken had some strong feelings about what he wrote and that's awesome to present and discuss. I'm so looking foward to talking about it! I do, I do, I do!!! (And mentioning that this famous cultural critic was a linguist as well! Take that, elitist literary critics! I've been preaching it for YEARS now.)

On the other hand... damn, presentations. I'm marked. What I feel walking into a room to talk to a group of people is no mere stage fright, but a serious fear of being bullied out of said room again. Sad thing is, this hasn't happened to me in years, but I still feel like it would when I come into similar situations. I don't think there is a life for me without this fear, but maybe one being able to deal with it in a way which doesn't harm me.

Thus, my plan for tomorrow is:

1) Having written this affirmation inside of my hand:

2) Smiling because it makes many people smile in return.

3) Looking into as many faces as possible before beginning.

4) Closing my eyes (oh yes!) and taking a deep breath before starting to talk.

5) The usual: saying what I'm about to say, say it, and say what I just said.

6) Be awesome, of course!


So far. See you after tomorrow. I hope? Oh well...

Re: presentation (new!)

Okay.

How did I do this?

I did not only survive it, but I did well. (Very well in fact.)

Moreover, I felt amazing - like a duck in water.

Again? Soon? Please?!

I couldn't have done this two years ago, or even one. Hell, I didn't manage last semester. But now?
I've come a long way, I guess. I might finally be getting the hang of this. Haha. ♥


Exercises:
- practice talking in front of people more often
- reflect on the experience of talking in front of an audience
- observe a group's behaviour while discussing and try to collect the lose strands

Suggestions?


By the way, in case your interested, my plaid companinion today looked ( like this. )